A mindfulness breathing meditation

Mindful Breathing Meditation Instructions

1. Get as comfortable as possible.
   
   
2. Close your eyes. Be aware that this is your time to relax. Start concentrating on deepening your breathing.
   
   
3. Breathe calmly and naturally. Concentrate your attention on the coming and going of the breathes.
   
   
4. Notice the sensation created by the passage o air through your nostrils.
   
   
5. Notice where exactly the sensation is focused. Is it in your nostrils or further inside your sinuses?
   
   
6. Notice the moment when breathing is suspended, the natural pause after breathing out, before you breathe in.
   
   
7. Notice the point at which you feel the breath passing.
   
   
8. Notice the moment between breathing in, when you pause, full of breath, before breathing out again.
   
   
9. Stay concentrated in the same way during the next cycle of breathing, breathe after breathe.
   
   
10. Think about a cloud of dust, then rain washing that cloud away, then the rain clearing to leave a clear blue sky.
    
    
11. Let any agitation and confusion be like the dust, washed away by the rain of your breathing, leaving calmness and relaxation.
    
    
12. Let your breathing choose it's own rhythm, do not force the speed or pace, just let the natural rhythm occur.
    
    
13. If thoughts or sensations distract you, do not tense or feel bad about this. Let them pass through your mind, like birds through the sky, leaving no trace behind them.
    
    
14. Just enjoy the state of calmness for as long as you wish, noticing thoughts, but letting them pass without resistance or tension. Simply being mindful.

After returning, make sure you relax a while longer before you return to normal activity.

Anger management counselling

Anger Management

     

Anger in itself is a naturally occuring state, and can be considered a natural emotion. It should be noted from the start that "feeling anger" and "acting angry" are two different things.

     

Sometimes we get the "feeling" of anger. This can be for good reason, or inappropriate. An example of a good reason might be when you are in danger of violence, you can not avoid it and the "fight and flight" response kicks in. This is a natural example of where feeling angry and aggressive might save your life!

The problem with "feeling" angry is it does not always kick in when we want it to. This is because of mis-association between events, people, things, or places and a feeling of unease or danger. Thus we inappropriately respond to something with the "feeling" of danger or anger. There are two main reasons for this:

1. We have learnt a lesson somewhere in life that causes us to associate something with an angry feeling. This might be because of abuse, trauma, unusual circumstances, bereavement, grief or unnatural events. We then associate elements of whatever happened with the feeling of anger. This is the perception process at work, and is thus a Cognitive area for therapy.

2. We are in a physical or mental state that causes inappropriate response. This might be a fever, a manic or depressed state, halucinations, PMT, Low blood sugar, or a high pain level. In this state our cognitive processes are compromised.
Therefore there are times when the "feeling" is there when it should not be, and therefore needs cognitive work to resolve. This is an area that "off the shelf" anger management books, pack and self-help aids virtually ignore, and frankly only qualified therapy can help resolve. 

The second area is "acting" angry. This is where we have a "feeling" of anger or irritation, and this results in an "action" or "behaviour". This is the area of anger management most commonly talked about since it is the "behaviour" that is displayed to people around you. Most "off the shelf" books and courses deal just with this area.

When we have felt the"anger feeling", whether for good reason or not, we tend to respond with angry "behaviours" such as aggression or passive aggression. There are actually a variety of display types, from the most obvious violence, to sulking, shouting, being a angry manipulative person who seems like a "victim", and various other variations. These are all outcomes of the behaviour being "angry". 

Between the "feeling" and the "behaviour" are occurances that "trigger" that response. Theses are the people, things, smells, sounds, places, actions, words etc that "trigger" the person into feeling angry. What happens then is the "feeling" is felt, the person goes into a kind of "autopilot" and the "behaviours" result. 

The "autopilot" is a laymans term for learnt response or conditioned response. Over time we learn to respond to certain triggers with certain behaviours. As these become "natural" responses for us, they become unconcious rather than deliberate. Thus we automatically respond that way without thinking about it conciously. While the person continues to automatically respond with "angry behaviours", the problem persists. The most common advice for dealing with this is "to count to ten before responding". It is sensible advice, but most clients need help in making this possible! According to eastern psychology thinking, we spend way too much time in this conditioned state.

Anger management coaching and therapy

So what can be done about it?

1. Deal with underlying causes, the reasons why the person has high stress or aggression levels.

2. Deal with the perceptions that cause a person to tend to be angry by "seeing things" a certain way. These are the learnt perceptions, or way you have learnt to see / understand things.

3. Change responses to triggers. This means unplugging the autopilot! The behaviour can thus be addressed, and freedom of choice returned to the client! Part of this is the client choosing new responses that work for them.

4. Environmental factors. Addressing any factors, relationships or other things that may have causes the client to get stuck in this mind set initially, or kept them there since. This helps to prevent slippage back into the old patterns.

CBT is highly effective in dealing with anger management, especially when combined with hypnotherapy, personal development counselling skills, psychological therapy and other methods. Primarily these should be combined as necessary in a fairly seemless way.

Cognitive therapy helps to resolve perceptual issues. Counselling skills or psychological therapy methods help to look at deeper issues. Hypnotherapy and behavioural therapies help to change responses to triggers and give back freedom of choice. Life coaching helps to resolve environmental factors.

Mindfulness, Naikan, Satori and other eastern psychology methods are helpful in retraining perception and resultant behaviour.

The most important part of anger management is to ensure that the problem is addressed on all levels, thus preventing reoccurance.

     

We are complementary health practitioners, not alternative health practitioners. This means that we work WITH the medical profession. If you have an illness or injury, or if you are going to embark on a new diet, fitness plan or if you have any uninvestigated symptoms, you must consult your medical doctor. 

     

Anger management consultancy and training

     

Stuart has written practitioner training courses in anger management coaching (Level 4 award), life coaching (Level 4 award) and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (Level 5 Award). Anger management is a specialism that Stuart has researched, worked on and written training courses about for many years, and he has provided many interviews on live Radio in the UK as an expert on anger issues and anger management. 

Stuart is a NCP and NACP approved psychotherapist and counsellor. We support the coming voluntary regulation of psychotherapy and counselling. Stuart is a CNHC registered hypnotherapist (voluntary regulation of hypnotherapy).

Clinics at:

Salisbury Centre, Edinburgh

The Healthy Life Centre, Edinburgh

The Embody Massage Clinic, Glasgow

Stresses associated with dyslexia

Many people associate dyslexia and similar problems like dis calculi and dyspraxia as entirely learning orientated. In other words they assume that the only effects people will suffer will be in terms of finding it harder to read, write, and in the latter two conditions, count and perform physically.

However there are a number of other effects, often completely disregarded by people generally, and even teachers and lecturers.

Most people with dyslexia and similar conditions go a fairly long period of time without having been assessed and identified as having the condition. Therefore there is usually a period of struggle prior to then having to face the "label" of the condition.

The period of struggle often involves been considered "slow", "clumsy", "stupid", "lazy", "not applying yourself", "could do better", "bad attitude", "disruptive" etc etc.

As a person is faced with these opinions, through no fault of their own, resentment grows and a negative attitude towards authority is commonplace. This results in a number of problems:
- Being disruptive, since you are being punished anyway
- Being resentful, since the system and people are being unfair
- Being depressed, since you are being criticised unfairly
- Having anger management problems, as a result of the unfairness
- Having very poor self-image, as a result of the negative comments
- Trying too hard and potentially being obsessed with success or acceptance
- Obsession with proving everyone wrong

Then there is the adjustment that occurs at the point of identification -  or "labelling". Although this can be the beginning of a positive outcome with increased support and resources, in the short term it is common for this to be another source of depression or anger. It tends to be a point at which people analyse and remember all that was said and done before, raking up old insults and conversations. It also challenges the self identity of the person, who may have worked hard to prove themselves intelligent, only now to receive what seems like a new form of critical label.

There is then also the problem of a "glass ceiling" that tends to exist. With support and positive strategies many people with learning issues create new and imaginative ways of moving forward and coping. Sometimes this even leads to new leaps of creative imagination and new useful learning strategies for other people. There is usually however a limit or ceiling beyond which the person can not easily travel in terms of achievement. This can be painful, frustrating and very bad for self image.

The problem with such a learning issue is therefore two-fold. Firstly there is the actual cognitive impairment, which is not something that can be cured, and thus has to me managed. Then there is the range of emotional and psychological issues and problems that can arise from it's presence. The two interact with one of the key issues being how badly such learning problems react to stress, anxiety or depression. Thus the dyslexic who is stressed performs far worse than the calm, collected dyslexic who is able to calmly consider their learnt strategies for learning or examinations.

Additional effects of note include the ability of dyslexic people to often see patterns within information, almost a savant effect, to use visual representations far easier than dense text, to be creative, and to think outside the box. Often these abilities are directly related to having to find new ways to cope with their own problems. Another area that is often a struggle and requires additional strategy and support is the common effect of poor short term memory. Memory tricks, careful use of diary systems and managing stress and anxiety levels are helpful in reducing the effects of any impaired short term memory. Another helpful method is frequent rehearsal prior to examinations over a longer than normal revision period, thus enabling the information to enter long term memory, where it may remain intact ready for the exam.

A number of strategies are notably useful for people with dyslexia. Meditation or mindfulness based exercises before study or work can help to cultivate the optimum state of mind ready for learning, and reduce the frequent emotional disruption suffered.

Calibration exercises are a relatively new idea, but involve learning and balance related exercises prior to starting work. This might involve listening to the TV news to begin processing information, especially on the strap line, or reading a newspaper. It might physically involve balancing and centring with Tai Chi or Swiss ball exercises. It should however be a controlled exercise so that it does not become a type of procrastination to avoid the main work at hand. It should remain a preparatory routine followed by the planned work.

Counselling and psychotherapy can be a useful combination for looking at the developmental issues and emotional issues. Self hypnosis or hypnotherapy can be used to assist memory. NLP can be used to adjust emotional states, exercise can be used to wear off anger and frustration.

Overall a kind and understanding approach is needed, not just from a therapist, but from the client towards themselves. This is crucial since the client may have internalised all the critical comments over the years, and may be used to emotionally beating themselves up!

I (Stuart) am particularly interested in the field of managing dyslexia and it's effects since both myself and my wife are dyslexic, and I work with a number of clients with the  issue. I combine the study of psychology (MSc level) with psychotherapy, counselling, hypnotherapy, NLP, CBT, coaching and meditation based exercises including Chi Gung or Mindfulness where appropriate.

Potential enquiries should note no claim is made to "cure" dyslexia, which is a life long cognitive impairment.

Anger management counselling and coaching

Anger in itself is a naturally occuring state, and can be considered a natural emotion. It should be noted from the start that "feeling anger" and "acting angry" are two different things.

Sometimes we get the "feeling" of anger. This can be for good reason, or inappropriate. An example of a good reason might be when you are in danger of violence, you can not avoid it and the "fight and flight" response kicks in. This is a natural example of where feeling angry and aggressive might save your life!

The problem with "feeling" angry is it does not always kick in when we want it to. This is because of mis-association between events, people, things, or places and a feeling of unease or danger. Thus we inappropriately respond to something with the "feeling" of danger or anger. There are two main reasons for this:

1. We have learnt a lesson somewhere in life that causes us to associate something with an angry feeling. This might be because of abuse, trauma, unusual circumstances, bereavement, grief or unnatural events. We then associate elements of whatever happened with the feeling of anger. This is the perception process at work, and is thus a Cognitive area for therapy.

2. We are in a physical or mental state that causes inappropriate response. This might be a fever, a manic or depressed state, halucinations, PMT, Low blood sugar, or a high pain level. In this state our cognitive processes are compromised. Therefore there are times when the "feeling" is there when it should not be, and therefore needs cognitive work to resolve. This is an area that "off the shelf" anger management books, pack and self-help aids virtually ignore, and frankly only qualified therapy can help resolve. 

The second area is "acting" angry. This is where we have a "feeling" of anger or irritation, and this results in an "action" or "behaviour". This is the area of anger management most commonly talked about since it is the "behaviour" that is displayed to people around you. Most "off the shelf" books and courses deal just with this area.

When we have felt the"anger feeling", whether for good reason or not, we tend to respond with angry "behaviours" such as aggression or passive aggression. There are actually a variety of display types, from the most obvious violence, to sulking, shouting, being a angry manipulative person who seems like a "victim", and various other variations. These are all outcomes of the behaviour being "angry". 

Between the "feeling" and the "behaviour" are occurances that "trigger" that response. Theses are the people, things, smells, sounds, places, actions, words etc that "trigger" the person into feeling angry. What happens then is the "feeling" is felt, the person goes into a kind of "autopilot" and the "behaviours" result. 

The "autopilot" is a laymans term for learnt response or conditioned response. Over time we learn to respond to certain triggers with certain behaviours. As these become "natural" responses for us, they become unconcious rather than deliberate. Thus we automatically respond that way without thinking about it conciously. While the person continues to automatically respond with "angry behaviours", the problem persists. The most common advice for dealing with this is "to count to ten before responding". It is sensible advice, but most clients need help in making this possible!

Anger management coaching and therapy

So what can be done about it?

1. Deal with underlying causes, the reasons why the person has high stress or aggression levels.

2. Deal with the perceptions that cause a person to tend to be angry by "seeing things" a certain way. These are the learnt perceptions, or way you have learnt to see / understand things.

3. Change responses to triggers. This means unplugging the autopilot! The behaviour can thus be addressed, and freedom of choice returned to the client! Part of this is the client choosing new responses that work for them.

4. Environmental factors. Addressing any factors, relationships or other things that may have causes the client to get stuck in this mind set initially, or kept them there since. This helps to prevent slippage back into the old patterns.

CBT is highly effective in dealing with anger management, especially when combined with hypnotherapy, personal development counselling skills, psychological therapy and other methods. Primarily these should be combined as necessary in a fairly seemless way.

Cognitive therapy helps to resolve perceptual issues. Counselling skills or psychological therapy methods help to look at deeper issues. Hypnotherapy and behavioural therapies help to change responses to triggers and give back freedom of choice. Life coaching helps to resolve environmental factors.

The most important part of anger management is to ensure that the problem is addressed on all levels, thus preventing reoccurance.

     

We are complementary health practitioners, not alternative health practitioners. This means that we work WITH the medical profession. If you have an illness or injury, or if you are going to embark on a new diet, fitness plan or if you have any uninvestigated symptoms, you must consult your medical doctor. 

Counselling for the stress and anxiety effects of dyslexia

Dyslexia is a condition that effects far more than simply the ability to read and spell. If often exists alongside dyscalculus or dyspraxia. The condition is essentially an information processing problem, which effects a range of comprehension and processing.

We can provide support and coaching to assist clients with adult dyslexia in Glasgow and Edinburgh. Please note we are an ADULT service provider and do not assist in child or adolescent cases. Also such assistance can not "cure" dyslexia which is a life long cognitive condition. Since the condition interacts with social and emotional issues however, often wellbeing can be greatly improved.

What is dyslexia

In basic terms dyslexia effects the way in which the sufferer processes information. A specific area of the brain is normally effected, and this results in problems with processing information from a range of inputs. It is not just reading and writing that are commonly effected. Often delays in information processing effect sufferers in verbal conversation as well. Classically pauses while "processing", difficulty with spelling, difficulty with comprehension while reading, problems with "proof" reading, and difficulties with essay writing are all commonplace.

It should be noted that there are different types of dyslexia, some complex, some severe and some which effect mathematics, memory or speech more than other types. Not all dyslexia cases are the same. Some models of dyslexia split types into lexical and non-lexial cognitive problems, this means in basic terms that some people suffer more with non-words (or unusual words), others with known and logical words. However there are competing explanations for dyslexia.

What other effects does dyslexia have?

There are a range of knock on effects that are often seen in cases of adult dyslexia. As a result of problems during childhood and adolescence there will often be issues with:

• Fear of failure
• Negative self image because of difficulties in study and learning
• History of bullying because of "pauses" in speech or listening
• Internalised negative things that have been said, classically "stupid", "slow", "lazy"
• Higher levels of stress. This is caused by the added strain of processing information generally, and the fears of looking "stupid".
• Anger management. Repeated negative comments, difficult challenges and fear of failure result in defensive or offensive strategies of behaviour.
• Some sufferers are unable to measure the passage of time and are often very late or early. Even the thought of managing time can be stressful.
• Some adult sufferers are over keen to revisit academic areas in a desperate attempt to gain success, often without the resources they need.
• Numbers and mathematics are often effected, as is short term memory. Thus a sufferer may be unable to remember facts, dates, numbers or read material. It can be hard to commit facts to memory during study.
• Post traumatic Stress effect. Often sufferers are more likely to have symptoms of traumatic stress, abuse, relationship difficulties, study issues or work issues. Sufferers often have involvement with legal or social difficulties as a knock on effect of the condition.

What can assist adult difficulties with dyslexia?

There are two main reasons for seeking assistance of a counselling or life coaching type.

1. Dealing with all the negative things from the past. These can involve unpiclking learned negative behaviours, fears of failure, hurt from negative comments, abuse or bullying.

2. Creating new strategies for the present and future. These can involve learning anger and stress management techniques, study methods, goal setting, calm time management, memory skills and other personal strategies.

If you have a diagnosis already

You may already have had an educational psychology assessment and be aware that you have dyslexia. If you have not, then it is highly recommended that you seek a referral for such an assessment as soon as possible. We can assist with non-specific learning difficulties, but it is a major step forward to have a clear diagnosis not only of dyslexia, but of the type and nature of your condition. This helps you to design new strategies for learning and study much easier.

Self Help using online resources

Clearly any serious emotional issue needs professional assistance, therefore there is no online substitute for proper psychotherapy, coaching or counselling services. However to assist with low levels of stress, or to take a role in your personal management package, it is well worth looking at some online resources.

poodwaddle.com allows you to access some short streamed meditation music you can use alongside meditation, Chi Gung or other relaxation methods.

Google Apps market have a number of free downloadable apps for meditation and relaxation.

Lightening bug is an app that is on android and I think Iphone that assists sleep patterns and has a free trial version.

YouTube have quite a range of instructional videos for autogenics, basic yoga such as sun salutation, and a few other things too. Of course with YouTube take a look first and screen out any flaky videos before choosing one that is credible!

Sometimes using a free app, or free online service can breathe new life into some of the little positive habits and routines that are really good for us, stopping them going stale, and being discontinued!

Of course use common sense with any such programme -  "buyer beware".... but with just a little common sense you should be able to spot the decent ones!

Linkin in page

Please do come and network on our Linked In system.

We welcome clients, students, colleagues and interested members of the public linking to us there, or joining us on facebook as friends.  Scotlandtherapy and SHTC contacts very welcome.

http://www.linkedin.com/pub/stuart-morgan-ayrs/2a/591/185

Facebook ID: Stuart Scotlandtherapy

Learn to reduce stress, manage anger and modify perception

The new meditation classes starting in September in Edinburgh will provide a range of skills to student learners.

- Manage stress through regular relaxation: learn self hypnosis techniques and autogenics techniques as well as a range of meditation styles

- learn to modify reactions to stress or anger triggers. Morita psychology teaches us that we do not choose the emotions we feel, but we can choose our reactions to them. Learn perception and breathing methods to do this.

- mindfulness techniques to ground you, reduce tension, reduce obsessive thinking and encourage a calm state of mind perfect for wellbeing, creativity and simply feeling good.

- benefit from a range of Naikan and mindfulness exercises to practice between sessions, using them to greatly increase the effect of the weekly meeting.

- Join in a like minded group, and find mutual support to get positive new habits ingrained and automatic. It is much easier with a supportive group.

- Changing the automatic reactions we tend to have to triggers in the environment gives us back personal control, instead of being like pre-programmed automatons reacting without thinking. We are free to choose the outcomes and reactions that work best for us, instead of simply repeating what we have done before.

-Naikan exercises enable us to reanalyse the interactions we have with others and start to see the overall day and week in a more balanced way. We tend to remember the negatives far easier than the positives, and Naikan helps us to put the balance back. This enables a greater sense of wellbeing, as well as encouraging us to seek out new positive opportunities each day.

Sessions will start on September 15th (Thursday) 17.45- 18.45 and will run for 14 weeks. £7 per week or £90 for the full 14 weeks.

Handouts and learning aids will be emailed to save paper and natural resources to be sure to bring the email details along. The Venue is The Healthy Life Centre, Bread Street, Edinburgh EH3 9AL

Psychology membership promotion

Happy to announce that as of last Friday I have been recognised with full membership status in the Institute of Professional Psychologists, a leading international organisation for professionals working in the psychology industry. I long ago chose IPP as a home rather than the local BPS or HPC, since the local bodies are concerned entirely with western psychology, and are very biased towards cognitive psychology. In contrast the IPP is based in Sri Lanka and represents professional psychologists around the world, with a much greater diversity.

On the basis of my recent MSc Psychology completion (award date 31st July) I have been upgraded from associate to full member status.

New direction with ongoing professional training

July already, and half way through! And quite a lot has changed on the training front for me personally and professionally.

The MSc Psychology is complete and passed -  graduation officially on the 31st :)

The Edinburgh Uni certificate of education should hopefully also be done, need to wait a month or so for the final results, but I will be shocked if that is not passed too.

No funding was available for the MSc Research & PHd at the moment, due to all the cuts, so that goes on hold!

The TODO vocational course in Morita is complete, and was very useful and provided some new skills personally, and for client use.

Booked to do two courses now in October - both Open University so that I can complete them while still working full time. One philosophy and arts based as part of the degree I am doing in philosophy of the mind -  a different perspective to either psychology or psychotherapy. The other is politics based and looks at issues such as power in society, therefore examining the society in which clients must function.

Technically I am now registered for a BA (Hons) Open degree choosing psychology, politics and social science topics, and a BA (Hons) Philosophy and psychological studies degree with a fixed syllabus.  Should complete the first inside of 14 months, the other a year later :)

Also going to be doing additional research training with the NHS, and possibly with the OU Students Union regarding training and development.

No rest for the wicked :)

Emotions linked to the goals we set

It is easy to pretend that goal setting is a logical, dynamic and easy process with no emotional baggage. Of course when we do that we are fooling ourselves and entering into a state of deliberate denial. The truth is that we would not have to try so hard to set and achieve goals if it were not for the complex emotions that go along with them!

Often we have positive emotions that encourage us to "have a go" and move forward.

We then have negative emotions that encourage us to "leave it be" and not "rock the boat".

We have paralysing emotions that prevent forward movement.

Motivational interviewing encourages us to look at these issues like a see-saw, with two forces on each side:

Motivation for Change                                                         Motivation for Status Quo
Negatives and fears from Change                                        Negatives and fears from Status Quo

And right back in the middle -  gumming up the works is fear of change and desire to hide!

So an example: desire to go to the gym more:

I want to get fitter                                                                 I am happy watching TV
I am afraid I will fail or look stupid                                     I know my health is suffering being fat!

So the other way to look at things, is to consider all the emotions we have attached to the plan. Take the gym again:

Hope: Would like to be healthy
Fear: I am overweight and this is not good for me
Guilt: I should have done this years ago
Anger: I feel like I am doing this because I "should", not because I "want" to.

Once you recognise all those emotions you can start to process them, think about them and move on from them. Some you can recognise as misplaced, and therefore change, some you can accept but "do it anyway", others you may decide to process by giving yourself a boost or treat elsewhere to compensate. The main thing is that by being aware, you can challenge, and then move on from or practice acceptance for each emotion. While you are in denial that the emotions even exist, you are giving them power to subtle control and influence your behaviour behind the scenes!

Horizontal benefits of change

When we start implementing change it is important to be aware not only of the changes that we intended to occur, but also the horizontal effects! This refers to the secondary positive effects that can occur as a result of moving forward in life. You might for example choose to eat more sensibly, perhaps to loose weight. As you implement this and enjoy some nice healthy but tasty food, you might also find that you feel motivated to go to the gym or walk further each day. This is a by product of the state of mind that comes with positive change. To use a rather overused expression -  you gain a "can do" attitude. Not just that but an attitude of enjoying doing!!

All the more reason to make small but meaningful changes in life, one at a time rather than trying to overload yourself with massive leaps. Make the small changes and see what small horizontal benefits come right along with them!

MSc Complete and passed

Glad to let everyone know that this morning the Open University confirmed that I have passed the final module of the MSc Psychology, and therefore the entire Masters Degree. Officially the degree will be awarded 31st July...... quite why the wait I am not sure but anyhow, all good.

Ongoing professional training update

it appears that funding for the research project at Edinburgh University is not going to be possible. At least I assume so since the answer should have been received by now and there is deathly silence :) Therefore it appears that my mental health research project, which might well have saved the NHS nationally many,many times the cost of the project is not going to be funded due to budget restraints. Not what I would consider logical, but hey, politics right?!?

Therefore plan B will continue with me completing the BA in philosophy and psychological studies which I am around half way through, and then possible a joint politics and social studies degree.

I am a strong believer that when working with clients you need a robust understanding of the individual, small group, social group, community, culture and society..... micro up to macro. Therefore in my estimation it is important to have a grasp of psychotherapy, psychology, sociology, philosophy and politics in order to maximise your skill as an integrative therapist. And as those who know me are already aware, I have a commitment to lifelong learning and improvement. Or cynics might say I am a study junkie!

Balance when setting goals

It is a very common phenomenum for a person to set a new goal, such as finding a new job, going to the gym more often, starting a new hobby, or spending more time with a loved one, only to find that it does not last more than the magic 6 week period. 6 weeks is the estimated "drop out" peak!

One of the key reasons for this drop out is that people do not sit down and work out the DOWN side to their new objective! Now this may seem negative, but in fact it is referring to the cost of the new goal.

Think of it like a business decision -  there should always be a cost and benefit analysis. When setting goals we quite rightly focus on the motivational benefit part. However we should not go into denial about the cost! We should not be put off by the cost, but neither should we pretend it does not exist, so that it comes round to bite us in the rear later! An easy example might be deciding to go to a new gym on a regular basis -  excellent -  more fitness, better health.... just forget that sizable new direct debit coming out of the bank! Now normally we do consider the direct debit, because we have become quite used to budgeting.... which is a form of cost benefit analysis. However we do forget other things:

- Do we need to get a few more hours of sleep the night after the gym so we can recover and our bodies get the full benefit of the work-out?

- Do we need to be careful not to skip meals and to take a look at our nutritional intake?

- Do we need to perhaps ease up on the units of alcohol in the run up to the gym session day so we can do ourselves justice?

- If we are taking time out of another activity, do we need to budget additional time elsewhere?

The same principle applies in other areas too.

More time with loved ones = potentially less time doing solo hobbies. Therefore perhaps cut wasted time elsewhere to still enjoy a few hours on the xbox, cycling, going to the pub etc

A higher paid job may mean longer hours or a more tiring day or longer commute to work. So better rest, food and play time may need to be organised.

A new hobby may mean less time with family and friends.... and therefore more careful scheduling.

Whatever the new goal or objective, still be positive, but be aware of the costs as well. By being aware, you can be thinking about what else you may need to do in order to make it work long term.

The same applies to stopping or cutting down perceived negative behaviours. When we stop going to the pub so often however, we loose out on social activities, fun, and other perceived positive experiences that are referred to as "secondary gain". The secondary gains are good feelings, experiences or outcomes we get as a result of doing something rather negative. When we decide to change therefore, we loose some of those secondary gains, and can end up feeling like a child whose parent took away the bag of sweets! And if we feel deprived, punished or otherwise feel like we lost out, there is an incentive to go back to the negative habit again!

Therefore if you are cutting down, cutting out or changing any negative habits, then be aware of why you enjoyed them in the first place. Was there a pleasure aspect, or social, or an enjoyment of personal space, or perhaps a feeling of freedom. List the different things that you enjoy about the habit rather than pretending that it is all bad. If it was all bad you neve would have bothered with it in the first place. Pretending there is no secondary gain is a form of denial! List those gains! Once you have done that work out where you will get a substitute good feeling! Choose new activities or other well loved old ones. Look for the same or very similar gains so as to provide balance and equilibrium.  This will allow positive moving forward without feeling hard done by or punished!

Setting goals - Morita principle

A few more ideas from Morita training to consider when planning a goal, or avoiding procrastination!

1. The difference between intention and action
Beware of the trap of thinking about doing things! Sometimes we overthink so effectively that we convince ourselves that we have actually DONE something, when all we did was think!

2. What leads to action?
Try to shorten the road between idea and action! This is one way of reducing overthinking! When you remember something that needs doing, GET UP and move towards that thing, BEGIN the process of DOING. Once you have made a movement towards something it actually requires a decision to avoid it, but until movement is present, you can procrastinate forever!

3. Steps
Nature moves slowly - we see it in evolution, nature, the seasons, the course of the day. Nothing is instant. However we WANT things instantly. You want a new skill, you want it NOW, you want more money or a better job -  NOW please! This goes against nature. Learn to break down the end goal into steps and then take action! Do not be frozen by the size of the goal, the idea of it being too far away, too much hassle, break it down and get started! Little steps like move to the phone, make the call and ask for the application forms for a job or course.... do not get into contemplating and overthinking the entire course!!!

4. Have a clear purpose
Be clear in your mind WHY you want to do something, and do not let the habit of overthinking cloud that thought or suppress it! Overthinking is a form of distraction, taking focus away from what is needed. Keep the clear goal in mind and keep reminding yourself of WHY you are bothering to make that effort!

5. Show up
Sometimes getting yourself moving towards the right place is the key to getting the action underway. Do not worry about whether you really feel like the gym today -  just throw on the clothes and get there.... then see what happens! It takes far more dedicated procrastination to avoid doing something when you are in the right place at the right time! Get moving, and worry about the details later!

In Morita we often use the Kaizen concept of making small changes very often. This is a concept borrowed from industry. It can be easily understood if you consider having a whole house to tidy. If you consider the whole house then the task is pretty big and easy to run screaming from. If you consider tidying a small area, but doing this every day, then after a few days a real difference starts to occur, but without the need for overwhelming effort. Do not scare yourself into inaction, do a little each day, be it study, exercise, housework, job seeking, meditation.......

Using Reiki in Psychotherapy and Hypnotherapy

From time to time I get asked what connection there is between Reiki, which is an energy healing model, and talking based therapies like psychotherapy and hypnotherapy.

In brief -  Reiki enables the practitioner to practice self care, and therefore in the first place it helps the therapist to be more stable and with better wellbeing.

Secondly practicing Reiki or Chi Gung exercises in the therapy space prior to talking therapies grounds not only the therapist, but also the space itself. This is especially true in bare foot practice spaces like the Salisbury Centre and The Health Life Centre -  my two practice bases in Edinburgh.

Thirdly when using a hypnotic process, you should as a professional therapist be monitoring the client carefully, monitoring body tension, skin colour, breathing rate etc. While doing so, and maintaining either the relaxation process, or the suggestion process, it is quite straight forward to send positive Reiki energy into the space, and to the client.

Finally (for now) whenever you think about a client, email them, call them, note them in the diary, senda reminder or just think about planning a session, you have the perfect opportunity to send healing Reiki energy.