It is easy to pretend that goal setting is a logical, dynamic and easy process with no emotional baggage. Of course when we do that we are fooling ourselves and entering into a state of deliberate denial. The truth is that we would not have to try so hard to set and achieve goals if it were not for the complex emotions that go along with them!
Often we have positive emotions that encourage us to "have a go" and move forward.
We then have negative emotions that encourage us to "leave it be" and not "rock the boat".
We have paralysing emotions that prevent forward movement.
Motivational interviewing encourages us to look at these issues like a see-saw, with two forces on each side:
Motivation for Change Motivation for Status Quo
Negatives and fears from Change Negatives and fears from Status Quo
And right back in the middle - gumming up the works is fear of change and desire to hide!
So an example: desire to go to the gym more:
I want to get fitter I am happy watching TV
I am afraid I will fail or look stupid I know my health is suffering being fat!
So the other way to look at things, is to consider all the emotions we have attached to the plan. Take the gym again:
Hope: Would like to be healthy
Fear: I am overweight and this is not good for me
Guilt: I should have done this years ago
Anger: I feel like I am doing this because I "should", not because I "want" to.
Once you recognise all those emotions you can start to process them, think about them and move on from them. Some you can recognise as misplaced, and therefore change, some you can accept but "do it anyway", others you may decide to process by giving yourself a boost or treat elsewhere to compensate. The main thing is that by being aware, you can challenge, and then move on from or practice acceptance for each emotion. While you are in denial that the emotions even exist, you are giving them power to subtle control and influence your behaviour behind the scenes!
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